Thecret Mithion
I juth arrived back fwom a thecret mithion fwom Thouth Amerika and negothions wiff wepwethentatives of El commandante Hugo Thavez, (or Hewey ath he wikes to be cawed). He has gwathiously offered fwee gasowene to our commune, "The Weal Marxisth's of Bookwin", (thee photo above), for the purpoths of burning fwags.
It themes that one of ower wess than bwite commune memberths twaded ower entire cowection of tholen hub caps, air bags and HID headlights, (and two boxes of camel porn), for 23 fwags that had been tweeted wiff a fire wetardant chemical. My day job as a parking attendant doethen't bwing in enough money to buy dwugs and gasowene too!
The thoviet wath athembeled and a conthinths was weached. I was ewected as the wepwethintative for negotiations. (That will teach me to mith the weekwe meeting!)
I
I did wefuse to go unleth the commune came up with a sthord for our Muthlim comwads, (thee picture above).
After sucethesful negotiations, I sthmuggled the gas back acwoss the border by drinking it.
I'm still afwaid to pee around an opem flame.
For the Wevolution!
posted by John Bwown at Monday, July 10, 2006
29 Comments:
John,
I knew that Beakerkin had lied about that floozie and you! All along you were working for our jihad. Burning flags can contribute to jihad because burning flags can inflame the masses.
And a secret mission, a meeting with Hewey? I AM impressed!
Be careful where you pee! Stay away from the hookah, just in case, but only for a day or two.
You do need, however, to get a better job.
yes, i'm curious also.
Hmmm
Leaving the Jihadis just as the Beamish army is nearby. The clowns of Jihad are so guilable. How did you think the People's Liberterian Army found the stash of hashish and Khat.
You have a traitor in your midsts. My bet is that John Bwown sold you out. Ima Kurius if he was with a Muslim woman you will have to kill them both according to the Koran. If he was with a vegetable you have to kill Bwown and burn the Vegtable.
i am not giving up the sword without a fight!
Twoady, why musth you spwed womers about me?
I onwe spent twee days in Weo! (they kicked me out fowr wabble wousing.)
Ima, Hewey sends his wove!
If I quit my job where would the commune "find" all those hubcapths and airbags?
Bwown - Floozy or no floozy you need to get Chavez to give us some arms. One can only sling de camel poo for so long and our weapons of mass destruction have run out.
Iben you will be stoned for your corruption. Consider that. Don't beg either it's not becoming a woman of your advanced years. (P.S. I hope you used protection)
The Commies in Union Square think that Bwown is insane. Even his classmates at the Enema Goldberg Finnishing School and Brothel think he has lost his marbles.
Have any of you clowns of Jihad checked your stash of Hash and Khat. The Liberterian Army is making a fortune. Prepare for a siege and we have brought some terrible Satanic Heavy Metal Music to drive the clowns of Jihad Up a wall.
Welcome to the Jungle
White Wedding
Enter the Sandman
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.
The Girls Got Rythm.
Our friends over at Capital Pill
have sent the best of Elton John and that Boy George for when we decide to turn up the heat.
John,
Don't quit your job. But maybe you can find a management position, with the cash till available for more funding for HEAD COFFINS.
Beakerkin,
John Bwown can have a three-day wife. Research the Islamic writings for details on that provision which Allah has so graciously allowed.
We can sell the vegetable to the next village.
Nanc,
But your kind of curiosity is haram! And an infidel must not have a sword. The Lions of Jihad have the biggest swords.
Fariq,
Maybe we can get Al-Jazeera to provide the videocam and to show the beheading of the avatar.
Using protection is haram!
Ima - no protection even if it's John Bwown? I wouldn't want any little Bwown's runningk around.
John Bwown is interested in vegtables. Our spies have him on a beach performing ungodly acts with Romaine Lettuce.
If the clowns of Jihad know what is good for them the will not let Bwown anywhere near the salad bar.
Meanwhile we are positioning people in a siege formation. I will see if we can get our military analysts to describe the formation.
We Have the Beamish Army in the North. Jason Papas and the Peoples Liberterian wing is in the South.
The Beakerkin special forces brigade with The Beakinator, Wolverbeaker, James Beaker, The Grim Beaker are on the West.
From the East we have the Axeman, Tassie and the Talking Ann Coulter Doll.
I will see if we can get Elmer or Warren to provide some basic comentary. Justin Morris is serving as Chaplain for the Allied forces.
basic commentary? I say grab the high explosives and give no quarter, Beamish Army!
Fariq,
Better to have little John Bwowns than John Browns! Brown is a plagiarizer and a fraud, but Bwown is an original.
Does an old muslimah like Iben need protection? Surely she is too old to bear children!
Beak,
We Have the Beamish Army in the North. Jason Papas and the Peoples Liberterian wing is in the South.
The Beakerkin special forces brigade with The Beakinator, Wolverbeaker, James Beaker, The Grim Beaker are on the West.
From the East we have the Axeman, Tassie and the Talking Ann Coulter Doll.
Hey! Don't forget about Rosie! She, too, is working to save Beakerambo. Her mission is secret, so I'd better not say any more.
This is the danger of using a Brooklyn Communist staistician. The number of people who live in Trashcanistan is in the low millions.
How the Beamish Army could kill more people then the population of Trashcanistan remains unknown. This must be like the 2000 people in the Jenin massacre that became fifty something mostly armed.
According to the Mr Beamish Guide to Demolition of Common objects and general mayhem page 117. Do not bother with a siege blast the fools to Allah Asap. This keeps Duckys commie trial attorney friends potential customer list low.
We will have to proceed to the Beamishometry section of lobbing artilery shells at poorly constructed Iraqi homes later.
AOW
I am trying to get Chaplain Justin Morris to divulge the plans to drive the Sons of Allah crazy. There are rumors that he plans to run Rev Creflo Dollar on a giant screen TV followed by Dance Fever reruns.
The MOS is Rosie is top secret.
"From the East we have the Axeman, Tassie and the Talking Ann Coulter Doll."
We of the GOYMOSSAD, cannot induldge in commentary. Its all very hush hush donchano.
Ima - der are de things that are worse than getting pregnant
Uh-oh! A little trouble with camel races.
Interfering with camel races is haram! So what if young boys are the jockeys?
I swear I cannot understand a single word that JB says!
But fear not: Uncle SLAM is comin' to save Beak, too!
Brooke,
I swear I cannot understand a single word that JB says!
Well, I have no trouble understanding him. All those years of grading papers, I suppose.
Always On Watch said,
Brooke,
"I swear I cannot understand a single word that JB says!"
"Well, I have no trouble understanding him. All those years of grading papers, I suppose."
ROTFLOL!!!
Warren,
And what I said was absolutely true. I can decipher illegible penmanship as well--even my doctors' handwriting.
Who's got the sword? We need to fill a HEAD COFFIN!
Brown
In case you haven't noticed this is not my blog. Spot imitating the useless idiot of Jihad John Bwown and go back to your readerless blog.
Have you searched for employment as a squeege man. Trustfindista impostors are loathsome to the genuine article John Bwown
Brown
Will you stop trying to satire the useless idiot of jihad John Bwown who has abducted Beakerambo. This story has nothing to do with unemployable trustfundistas with blogs nobody reads.
The clowns of Jihad have no use for Walter Mitty types and you bore the readers of the Beakerambo saga. Beakerambo gets ratings but trustfundistas are a collective boooore.
i'm taking the sword with me to an undisclosed location this weekend - do not - i repeat - always be looking in the other direction - it will keep you from backing into walls and abutments. okay, and porty coachers!
We must get that sword away from the infidel Nanc!
Ima
If I were you I would be watching my avatar. Remember Mr Beamish and Beakerambo did invade Mecca.
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